Drawbacks of life
by CERAMICstar
Summary: I had enough worries in my life already - then you came and brought some more of them.
1. Congratulations, I hate you

**Drawbacks of life**

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts (but it owns me, damn it!), but maybe you knew it already.

**A/N:** Okay, so I got the feeling that I MUST write AkuRoku, it's my sad obsession and I have so many ideas which I have to write to the next chapters. But this is my first fic which is ever proceeded this far, so it would really save my day if you review and tell what do you think about this. There might be some mistakes in spelling and grammars, but I think this is still understandable text, so don't mention them. u__u Now I think that should I post this or not but I need some critic. The first chapter may seem odd and maybe lame, but everything starts to get clear in next chapters. * hee hee* Don't sue me, just read, please!  
**Warnings: **Bad language, ANGST, drinking and other stuff, yaoi coming later chapters.

**Pairings:** AkuRoku, other pairings.

**Chapter 1 – Congratulations, I hate you**

Do you know that feeling when you feel like you want to change some things of your life? When you wish that some things would be different, when you want to forget a memory and even hope that you never existed?

I have that feeling, I've had it a very long time, probably for my entire life. As other people keep going in their lives and get over of their problems, I have remained in place just wondering what should I do or should I give up. I hate my own weakness. Sometimes everything seems brighter than yesterday, and then again I'm like pulled down with immense power and I feel again like the walls are falling on me and I can't get out. And still I don't want that anyone helps me, I have to get along by myself._  
_

_---------_

**_  
_ **I heard shouting. The footsteps started to carry louder, so did that very familiar voice, and that voice had that too familiar tone. Then I realised that the shouting was meant for me, in other words I had done something wrong again, so...

My father appeared to the hall of our house. He looked so mad again, and before I even had time to manage what I had done this time, he grabbed on the collar of my shirt. I noticed the smell of alcohol and I knew that he has been drinking again.  
Dad said something insulting to me – I didn't clarify what was it because he spoke little bit thickly– and then he threw me against the wall. I heard a crash, something had fell to pieces when I hit the white wall of the room. What got broken, that I didn't know because I didn't dare to open my eyes 'cause I knew what was coming.

"...and you are just tramping here with that cocky face without doing anything. You're so slothful and stupid that you'll never become anything!", he yelled at me.

I have heard those same things so many times before so that actually didn't even hurt me anymore. And maybe he was right, maybe I am useless and stupid, why otherwise it's always me who gets all of father's anger.

He lifted me up from the floor and pressed me against the wall. I looked down, I didn't want to meet his gaze. I tried to break free of his grip but he didn't let go.

"Aren't you just a stupid asshole like your mother was, are you? You are nothing but trouble to me, just like she was."

"Let me go", I mumbled desperately without taking my eyes off the floor.

I should have known that talk back to dad made him even more angry. He looked me for a second and then raised his hand to hit me.

Beating. Shouting. More beating.

With every slap he gave me I felt even more miserable.

Then he just went away and left me in the hall.

I sat on the floor feeling so pathetic. Things have been like this as long as I remember. Dad was always at work or working at home, but in the evenings he starts drinking and he starts to act very aggressively. Almost every day he makes up an excuse why he should yell at me and beat me. I didn't know why it was always me, though I definitely don't want that he beats my brothers or anything. I'm just so... tired to all of this.

I looked at my right hand. I had fallen onto some glass shards when something got broken earlier. That's why there were some small, bleeding wounds in my palms. I bet my face was all black and blue. I was pretty sure about that because I couldn't open my left eye properly, so the corner of my left eye must be swelling up.

I let a shaky sigh from my mouth and got up cautiously. Then I walked through the hall as quietly as I could and sneaked upstairs. I tried to be quiet so dad wouldn't get another reason to beat me up.

I went through upstairs' dark corridor to the bathroom. I scrounged up a towel from a cabinet so I could stanch the bleeding in my hands. I looked at the wall mirror and saw that I had a black eye and the corner of my eye was really swollen, so was my lower lip. I spat to the sink because I tasted the blood in my mouth.

I pressed the towel against my lip and just stood there for a moment staring at my face through mirror. I just had thought that I felt pathetic, now I noticed that I also looked like that.

Oh god, how many times I have been standing here, trying to heal my worst injuries and wondering what had I done to deserve this and what would I say at school when someone asks why my face looks like this.

Sometimes I didn't even bother to do any of those, so I just sat on the floor and made long, bleeding cuts on my wrists like it would help anything. I hate it when I'm doing that because I think that's stupid but it has become an obsession which I can't stop. I've been doing that maybe since I was fifteen years old and I started to get more depressed about all of this.

You may wonder why I'm not telling to anyone about all of this. I don't want to tell the truth about my father to anyone because I don't want to move to children's house, I can move out by myself right when I'll get money from somewhere but it's difficult to find a job when you don't have any education yet.

The other reason was I don't want other people's pity, I wouldn't need anything less than someone saying how sorry he or she was for me, because it's not true.

Suddenly I heard a knock behind me so I jolted and turned around at the door where the voice had came from.

"Roxas, are you okay?" my brother Sora whispered when he poked his head from between the door in the room.

_Give me one reason why I should be okay_, I thought and turned my face away from Sora's worried look.  
"Yeah", I muttered and pushed him out of the door so I could walk by him and to my room. He tried to follow me but I slammed the door shut in front of his nose so he understood to stay outside.

Sora is my twin brother, but we aren't very similar-looking except from face and we both are kind of short and skinny. Both of us also have very spiky hair, but his hair is a little bit longer and spikier than mine.  
Those are the only identical features we share; Sora is usually very cheerful, social and carefree, very much opposite of me. I am... well, maybe I'm a little bit less joyful and happy-go-lucky than my brother is. We don't seem like twins anyway, Sora's hair is brown and I'm blond like our older brother Cloud.  
Cloud is many years older than me and Sora, so he has moved out of here, but I think he lives with dad's money like we do but in his own apartment.

Our father has always been working very hard, he owns some big companies – I'm not sure what they are for, we haven't really talked about anything during my life– so we have pretty much money. He has always been a bit of a workaholic which made him so stressed and quick-tempered, but during the last few months he had seemed even more aggressive than before and he has started to drink more alcohol than he had drunk earlier. He had been very violent since our mother passed away about 14 years ago, when me and Sora were about three years old. I wonder sometimes that what kind of our life would be if mom would still be here. Cloud told us that mom's death was hard to take for dad, so maybe dad wouldn't be like that if mom were here.

I turned to my back in my bed and stared the roof, though I couldn't see anything well because the room was dark. I tried to sleep but I couldn't. I was afraid that dad would freak out again and come to my room to beat the shit out of me. Of course it didn't matter was I awake then or not, but I just couldn't fall asleep when I thought about that.

Luckily the house seemed to be all silent, so maybe dad had passed out or went to sleep. I sighed again and squeezed that same towel what I've had taken from the bathroom just a moment ago. Then I looked at my hands and noted that they weren't bleeding anymore, so I threw the towel to the dark corner of my small room.

I didn't want to live with dad, but I didn't want to move out either. One day, Cloud suggested that we would move in with him but I didn't want to bother him so much. I would move out by myself if I'll get a job, I don't think dad would pay my living like he does pay Cloud's, he seems to hate me so much.

I yawned and turned on my side to look at the alarm clock which was on the table next to my bed. The digital numbers told that it was 04:39 am. Luckily I didn't have school tomorrow because we had still this week left of summer vacation, I would be too tired and I'd had to make some explanations for people who kept asking what happened to my face.

I noticed that I was getting even more sleepy. I closed my eyes and soon I was asleep.

-------

_  
There they were again.  
Three young boys walking on the graveyard's paths. Two of them were very young, the third one was maybe over ten years old. They walked silently until they were in front of a grave which was under a big maple tree of which leaves have turned yellow and some of them were falling slowly on the ground._

The grave was covered with many bouquets of flowers, which meant that not too long time ago there had been funeral.

"Hi, mom, we came to see you again", the oldest of the boys said quietly with a sad smile on his face. He knelt down so he could pick the withered flowers and throw them away.

The brown-haired one of the two younger boys knelt down too and yanked some grass from the ground. Then he looked at the older boy and asked: "Why did they bury mom in there? Can she breathe in there?" Then he pointed the grave and looked very confused.

"No, silly. Of course mom's not buried underground. Grandma told us that she's watching us from the heaven sitting on the white clouds, remember?" the older kid tried to explain to the brunette boy, he probably knew that so young child like that boy didn't understand if he'd say that she's dead and they won't see their mother ever again.

"But..." the brown-haired kid said still a confused look on his face, "...there's no clouds in the sky now."

The older boy just looked the kid abashed and tried to make up a good explanation.

"And I want to see mom now, I can't see her if she's in the heaven. Will she come back soon?"

The other of the young kids, the one with the blond hair, looked at the other boy with an angry face.  
"You are so stupid. Once someone goes to heaven, they don't come back again. Mom's not coming back!" the boy yelled at the brunette boy who got tears in his eyes.  
"What? You are stupid and a liar! Cloud tell him that that's not true!"

The oldest boy just looked at the boys and didn't know what to say. He was clearly surprised about that what the blond boy had said, he hadn't supposed that so young kid would understand things like death yet.

"Roxas you are so mean. Mom wouldn't leave us. Stupid!" the brown-haired said with a shaky voice. Now he started to cry too.

"Maybe we should go home, dad will get home today from the hospital", the oldest boy said trying to make the younger boys calm down.

"No, I want to see mom first, you can go home with Roxas..."

Roxas.

Roxas, wake up!  


I felt someone's hand shaking my shoulder. I mumbled something vague so who was trying to wake me up would know that I'm awake.

God, how much I hated that flashback-dream which I saw continuously. Or I'm not sure is that a flashback or is it just my imagination, however, it felt like a far-off memory of that time after mother's death. It was every time exactly the same, but usually it won't end like that.

I opened my eyes slowly – or rather my other eye, the left eye didn't still open properly.

The first thing I saw was my brother Cloud's face. The other thing was that the rising sun dazzled my eyes so I turned around and yanked the blanket over my head.

"Cloud, what are you doing here? Just that you know, I've had slept a very little so could you please go away so I can sleep just a couple of hours?" I mumbled the blanket still on my face.

Cloud didn't say anything, but I actually felt his glare when he wrenched the blanket to the floor.

"Oh come on, give it back", I whined dully. My eyes finally got used to the light so I opened them again as well as I could.

Cloud was sitting on the edge of my bed, staring at me with a blank look.

"You look horrible", he finally said, still looking at me with that expressionless face.

"Well thanks a lot", I muttered without looking at him. I cast my glance at floor because I couldn't look at his eyes, but I knew he was staring at me until I'd give up.

At last I made myself to meet his same blue eyes as mine. He looked pretty worried and almost angry. I couldn't help it but I started to feel a little nervous when I noticed that, because that reminded me of dad's face when he was mad. Of course Cloud wasn't like dad at all, so I got ashamed when I had compared them.

"So what do you want?" I asked him with a maybe too furious tone.

"Seriously, Roxas... I don't want that you two are staying here anymore. Dad isn't acting normally anymore, and I don't want to just be at my house and wait when something worse happens", Cloud said.

Well Sora's just fine in here, I thought, and what would be worse than this anyway, I would be only grateful if dad would beat me dead.

"And your point is...?" I asked like I wouldn't know what he meant. Cloud let a sigh and rubbed his forehead. He does that every time he's getting annoyed.

"My point is that you really should move in to my house. Dad's sending me enough money and would probably send more if you and Sora would live with me", he said and got up from the bed.

I chuckled sarcastically. "Yeah right."__

I looked at the clock, it was 10:17 am. I raised my eyebrows and looked at Cloud again.

"What are you doing here anyway? And this early? Didn't dad wake up?" I asked. Usually dad would get nuts if someone would be too noisy this early; dad sleeps normally till afternoon if he don't have to go to work in the morning, because he's doing paperwork or something very late in his room, and before that the house must be totally silent.

"No, didn't he tell you that he's going to London to a business trip for a week?" he asked and picked up that bloody towel which I had thrown to the floor last night.

"This may come to you as a surprise but we didn't have a very long dad and son- conversation last night so we didn't tell our next day's plans to each other", I said mockingly and touched carefully the corner of my eye. "Oww", I whispered almost quietly and stopped touching my bruised face.

Cloud rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know, but I thought that he might have mentioned that. Anyway, along with that I am trying to make your life a little easier by offering you a free apartment, I also have a favor to ask", he said and crossed his arms.

I raised my head a bit. "What is it?"

"Well...", Cloud started and leaned to wall, "I'm going to...elsewhere for a few days and I was thinking that maybe..."

"Where are you going?" I interrupted.

"None of your business", he answered quickly. I thought I saw a slight blush on his face, but maybe I imagined it. I knew he wouldn't tell even how much I'd keep asking, so I didn't bother to harp on.

"Anyway... do you remember my dog Dai? I thought that while I'm gone you and Sora would stay in my house and feed him and so?"

Oh didn't I remember that retarded mutt Cloud owned. It has to be the most stupid dog in the whole universe, it drools all the time, it smells horrible and it keeps running towards doors and all that kind of stuff (what do you mean that I don't like dogs? Noooo...) I knew the answer to Cloud's question even without thinking about it.

"Oh that would be great, how many days you are gone?"

I gave a murderous look for Sora, who had suddenly appeared to my room and had just sat down next to me with a wide smile on his face.

"Three days. I'm leaving tomorrow", Cloud answered to Sora's question.

"Do you really need me there Sora?" I asked with an irritated face. It was kinda clear that he had approved to Cloud's favor already.

"Yeah, otherwise you would just be pouting here the rest of the vacation, like you usually are. Come ooon, Roxas, I'll get lonely if you aren't coming with me", Sora whimpered and started to wrench my arm.

I sighed. "Fine."_  
_

-------

_  
_So, in the next day we went to Cloud's house.

The house was a regular house made of red brick with two floors and all the other houses in that block were exactly same looking.

I rolled my eyes and sighed deeply while Sora was trying to find the keys from his jeans' pocket.

"Come on, Roxas, cheer up", he said to me and pulled bunch of keys from his pocket. Then he started to look for the right key which would match to the lock of the front door.__

Easy to him to say that, I thought myself and looked when he turned the key at the keyhole.

Then a loud barking started inside the house. Right when Sora cracked the door, a head of a German shepherd poked out. That dog was about one year old, if I remember right, and it really even looked like sort of a dumb dog. But, for an unknown reason, Sora seemed to like it.

"Well helloooo, Dai. Did you miss me, did you? Aww who's a good boy?" he scraped Dai behind it's ears and talked to it same way like the old ladies liked to talk to babies. The dog just barked and kept jumping against Sora while I tried to get inside the house.

Then the dog ran after me when I was carrying my stuff to the bedroom and twirled around my legs. I glared the dog and when I didn't pay any attention to it, it ran through the corridor back to Sora.

I lied down on the bed and picked my cell phone from my pocket to see what's the time. To my surprise there was a "1 new message"-text on the screen. I opened the message. __

"Hi Roxas, I'm sorry that I've been so busy that we haven't had a chance to see each other for a while. I hope you are feeling better than last month. I'll let you know when we are coming to visit again, hopefully asap. :) I love you."

"Yeah right", I muttered and tugged the cell phone back to my pocket.

The message was from my girlfriend Naminé. She was born in France and then moved here in USA when she was 5 years old, but then last year, when her parents divorced, she moved back to France with her father and comes back here in holidays. In other words that means we see each other very rarely.

When I was about 15 years old, I got depressed, as I mentioned earlier, and I started to push people further off me, I just didn't want to talk with anyone. In the end even my friends got fed up with me and left me alone, just like I have wanted. Everybody except Naminé. Then I kind of gave up and stopped trying to push her away when I realised that she was decided to stay by my side. She's probably only one who I never told anything about me, what was bothering me and so on. I don't talk to even her very much so I don't understand how she had stood me all these years.

So we've been dating about two years, but I don't know can I call this dating when we see each other barely once in two months, but I really want to break up with her either after how supportive and understandable she had been all this time.

I felt kind of sleepy, because I didn't sleep well yesterday. Last night I slept well but I had to wake up early because we came at Cloud's house. It was barely 10 am.

I closed my eyes and started to fall asleep even I had been awake only three hours...

Actually I didn't sleep longer than maybe 10 minutes.

I woke up because _something _had jumped on my chest and started to huff on my face. I opened my eyes and saw that horrible hyper-energetic dog staring at me and drooling on my shirt.

"Leave me alone!" I shouted and got up to evict the animal. It jumped off of the bed and ran out of the room while Sora appeared to the door.

"Dai seems to like you very much", he grinned and avoided the pillow I threw towards him. "You should be friendlier to me, I made you food", he said and threw the pillow back to me.

I didn't say anything but I got up and followed Sora to the kitchen.

-------------------------

Time was almost 4 pm when me and Sora were sitting on the living room's couch watching TV. Both of us were totally bored, even Dai seemed to be calmed down, because it wasn't running around the house anymore. I could even see how bored my brother was; he was sighing in every minute while he was changing the channels with a bored face, and he was squirming all the time on the couch which made me more annoyed than I already was.

"Aw man it's so boring", he said and rose his legs on the table. We both just sat silent for many minutes, until Sora's look changed like he's got a very good idea.

_Oh no,_ I thought. Usually no one but Sora himself thinks that his ideas are good, so I kind of knew already that there's coming something stupid.

"Let's throw a party", he said with a scary shimmer in his eyes.

_What did I just say?_

"What? No way", I exclaimed.  
"Well why not?" he asked with a disappointed tone. "Cloud would kill us, this is his house", I answered but I knew that there was coming more coaxing coming.

"No he won't if he don't find out", he grinned.

We argued for that a while. I didn't like his idea at all, because I really wasn't a party-person and I was afraid of that if something would get broken or something like that, Cloud wouldn't like that at all. Although he said that we can do what we want and he made me come here, so maybe if wouldn't be so bad idea if Sora wouldn't have that bad habit that he goes too far sometimes and he totally gets crazy then.

"Pleeease, if I invite just a couple of my friends and...", he whined.

"All _right, _do whatever you want if you leave me alone then", I said and shook my arm so Sora would let go of it.

He grinned and got up from the couch and ran upstairs, probably to make phone calls.

I turned off the TV and rubbed my forehead. I really hoped that anything stupid won't happen what we'd regret later.

-------  
The first question what came to my mind was "_why in the hell I trusted him_ ?" about an hour after I let him to throw a party – for a "couple of his friends" as we had agreed before.

Well, the "couple of his friends" meant that the whole fucking house was full of people – most of them were totally random, I bet even Sora himself didn't know all those who had came here. He'll be _so_ dead when I see him.

I was peeking from between that bedroom's door where I had thrown my stuff in the morning, that retarded dog Dai with me. It was looking at me with a curious look and snuffing like it had been running around the house just a while ago... and it was dropping drool all around the rug.

Very soon I had enough of hiding in the room with Dai, so I decided to go to see what was happening, so I left the dog in the bedroom alone where it probably would stay without anyone interrupting it and nothing would happen. I tried to be as unnoticeable as I could and tried to avoid all the random people who started to get a little tipsy – some of the people had brought alcohol with them and Sora had "borrowed" something from Cloud's cupboards. As I probably told you, I'm not the most social person in the world and definitely not a person who likes to party. I wasn't interested either about getting drunk, I had seen enough drunks in my life at home, with reference to dad.

Anyway, I didn't manage to get very far when someone glomped me from behind.

"Hellooo", the random person shouted to my ear and I started to fear for my sense of hearing. "You should drink this, this is so good", she squealed and jabbed some can to my nose.

"No thanks", I said and shook the girl who I haven't even seen before off of me.

_What an idiot, _I thought when she bounced away to her friends.

Maybe it was a bad idea to get anyone even know I was here.

I walked upstairs because I wanted some fresh air and the balcony would be the best option. So I walked to the end of the upstairs' corridor and opened slightly the balcony's door so I could check was there anyone. Luckily there was no one, I didn't want company.

I took a deep breath of outdoor air when I sat on the bench and leaned on wooden edge of the small terrace. I heard loud speaking coming from below – some of the people had gone outside, probably to smoke. I looked over the edge to notice I had been right. Two person's were talking cheerfully to each other and the smell of cigarette made me want to smoke too. No, I don't smoke as it were a habit for me, sometimes it just made feel a little better.

I groaned when I heard a loud crash from inside. I really wasn't sure did I even want to know what have caused that noise. This won't bode anything good.

People from below went back inside, so it was just me and chilly late-summer evening. The sun was soon set and it was kind of silent now except the noises coming from the house or the far-off voices of traffic coming further. I looked to nowhere, but I noticed that the leaves of trees are starting to turn yellow, fall was coming.

Cloud's house was actually really nice, but I really didn't know what should I do. If I move in with him, dad would maybe stop giving money for Cloud and I didn't want to cause that, because if I had understood right, he didn't have a job right now.

Speaking of which, I wonder where Cloud went for these few days and why he didn't want to tell it for us. I didn't figure out what would be so secret that he wouldn't say it for his own brothers.

I had enjoyed my own company probably less than quarter hour when I heard the door behind me get closed. I didn't bother to turn around and check who came, some random maniac anyway.

Someone sat on the bench next to me, So I got curious and I had to look, although very quickly, who it was. Somebody I don't know or haven't seen before – trust me, I definitely would remember if I had seen him, he looked so unforgettable.  
The person was very tall, especially if you compare him with me, and maybe two or three years older, but my attention was in his hair: his spiky hair was bright red, not that kind of common hair color red, it was like a "shock color".

I took another quick look of him. He was most likely writing a text message, at least his green eyes were at the phone and he was fiddling fast the keypad of the cell phone.

I turned my gaze elsewhere because I didn't want to look like I would want to start a conversation with Mr. Weirdo. Soon the tapping sound stopped and he leaned too on the balcony's edge. He was sitting on the other side of the bench, but I got the feeling as he was going to say something.

"Why aren't you inside with others?" he asked casually. I knew I'd have to speak with him. I raised my eyebrow and glared him with a numb look.

"Not really interested", I said.

I noticed under his emerald green eyes were small tattoos, which looked like small tear drops upside down. I started to wonder where Sora knew him from. I was a little surprised of that here was really someone along with me who wasn't going to be drunk today.

"I could ask the same question from you", I added, hoping that he'll leave soon so I could keep my grieving.

"Kinda same. And I have to drive my friend home today so no drinking", he said and looked like me as would been trying to remember has he seen me somewhere before.

I was getting annoyed, I don't know why, but pretty often I found myself very pissed when I had those chats with random people. And the other thing was I really started to want a cigarette.

"Do you smoke", I asked from the red-haired guy a little hopefully. But he shook his head and said: "No, not anymore. But now when you mentioned, I would like to have one cigarette, sometimes it just does good for your nerves."

"Yup", I sneered.  
The redhead got up from the bench. "Wait a second", he mumbled and went to the door. He poked his head inside the house and yelled something to someone.

I followed his functions with my eyes. A guy with a sand-colored hair came to him. Well he was really drunk - even though it was still kind of early, I could see it because he was staggering a little and laughing like an idiot.

"Yea I have some, you can have these because we are SO good friends", he giggled stupidly for the redhead. He said something to his drunken friend – yeah I couldn't hear him but his friend shouted pretty loudly so his voice was well heard. The redhead was coming back but his friend grabbed his shoulder. "But don't tell anyone I gave them because I stole them from somebody's pocket", he said and left laughing hysterically like he would have said something funny. He slammed the door closed but his voice carried to my ears even he was in the house.

The redhaired guy came back chuckling and rolling his eyes. He picked a lighter from the pocket of his black jacket – I wondered why did he have a lighter anyway if he didn't smoke. He took a tobacco from the cigarette box, which his friend had apparently gave him, and offered it then for me.  
"Thanks", I mumbled quietly.

We were smoking our cigarettes in total silence. A cold wind blew through my hair which made me shiver, and all the smoke of our tobaccos came to my face.

The guy next to me was humming something and was writing a text message again. I was barely listening to the melody of the song he was humming, and in a moment I thought I recognized it...

Barbie girl? Was that fucking weirdo humming _Barbie Girl?!_ Now I started to feel more like I should jump from the balcony.

"You have a nice house", the redhead said suddenly and put the cell phone to his jeans' pocket again.  
"I don't live here", I said roughly. I wondered why did he think I lived here, but I didn't bother to ask. The other thing I reflected was didn't he really have anything else to do than trying to start a conversation with me even I had tried to imply that I wasn't in chatting- mood. I dumped the rest of the cigarette and didn't pay any more attention to him, although from the corner of my eye I still saw him. Now he was tapping the edge of the balcony with his fingertips as he won't stand still even for a second. I looked elsewhere but I got that feeling again like he was staring at me.

"What happened to that?" he asked and rose his hand to point the corner of my eye where was still a very tepid bruise left. I had forgotten that I still had it but luckily it couldn't be seen easily.  
When he rose his hand I got some kind of reflex and I startled like I'd thought that he was going to punch me. God, I had become sensitive because of dad.

I got embarrassed about my behavior and muttered something about walking towards door. Yeah, I know, not very believable but he didn't ask anything else.

It had become colder and darker outside, we must've been sitting there for a long time without doing anything. I checked the time of my phone, almost 11 pm.

"Aren't you Sora's brother?" redhead asked. I rolled my eyes, of course I was better known as Sora's quiet and angsty brother.  
"Yeah", I said lamely.  
"Are you his older brother?" he kept asking.  
"No, we're twins", I mumbled. "Really? You don't seem like twins."

"Twins doesn't always mean that they're like each other's clones", I said to him with a pissed tone. Usually people gets very quickly fed up with me just because of that mine nonchalant and unfriendly way of talking, but I don't know didn't he just get that or why it doesn't work with him.

"I know that, smartass", he chuckled.

The door opened behind us again so we both turned around to check who was coming.  
It was that redhead's drunken friend. If he was a little tipsy earlier, now he seemed to be really drunk. He walked with staggering steps closer and fell on the bench between me and the redhead. He ignored me and leaned his head on redhead's shoulder.

"Axel I feel sick can you drive me home now?" he whined with a thickly voice.

I rolled my eyes and hoped Sora would have spared his dignify this time, unlike that guy, and not crying for someone about something idiotic or passed out under the table or something else stupid what he'd usually do when he's drunk.

The redhead sighed and helped his friend up. "You know, it's your own fault, Dem", he said when the other guy was up. "No it's not", he cried and wandered very unstably steps and started to hold on the terrace's edge as he would fall if he wouldn't do that.

"I gotta go now", the redhead said to me. "Oh, right. My name's Axel, got it memorized?"

I looked at him lamely. "Yeah."  
"What 'yeah'?" he asked and watched his friend tried to get on to the door half crawling.  
"Yeah, I got it memorized", I answered briefly.  
"It's part of good manners when someone introduces himself, you usually introduce yourself back", the Axel- named guy said.

"I don't have manners", I snorted. Then he just stared me again, clearly waiting for that I say something. "Don't you already know my name?" I asked from him.  
"No, I only knew you're Sora's brother. Actually that was a guess, you look kinda similar", Axel said and took again his cell phone because it had made a beep. He read something from it's screen, put the phone back to his pocket and kept staring at me with awaiting look.

"It's Roxas", I finally sighed.  
"Okay, Roxy", he grinned.  
"I said Roxas", I said. He really was starting to annoy me with that smartass-attitude.

"I heard, but that's a good nickname", he said, still grinning widely.

I didn't say anything, because that Axel's drunken friend got my attention by singing _'I believe I can fly' _ and dangling his head outside the balcony.

"Okay, this is getting scary now. Bye Roxy, see ya later!" Axel said and went to his friend.

I looked after them with a lame expression. I wouldn't mind if I won't see him later, he was giving me a headache.

After I had sat there a while by myself and watched Axel's car driving away I ventured to go inside the house and see how Sora was. I couldn't find him anyway so I decided to find him in the morning.

A/N: So, this was the first chapter, plenty of more coming up! Reviews, please, it motivates me to write if I know there's even one person in the world who would want to read this to end. n___n


	2. Let it happen

**Drawbacks of life**

* * *

**A/N: **Hello everybody, here's chapter number two! First I want to wish happy AkuRoku day for all of you!  
This chapter was pretty hard to write, because I noticed that my ideas takes up a place in the later chapters, so I had to think up something in the between. First I thought that the actual story starts at the third chapter, but this chapter would've been too short and boring, so I started in the end of this chapter already. Hehee...  
But now I can start to write these things I've already thought through and what I want to write, yaay, so wait for the later chapters, mwahahaa! Though I don't know how long it will take later to update, because my school starts tomorrow...  
Oh, and I suck with the chapter names, so pretty often they just happen to be song's names, yeah I'm a shameless stealer...NOT. Music is my inspiration and I can think at the same time those songs are my soundtrack for this story. Okay I stop this pointless bubbling and let you read now you have already opened this link. Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to save my day by reviewing! ^_^  
**Disclaimer: **I own still nothing but the story (and Mr. Miura, the owner of the coffeehouse, he's mine XD). Other characters are from Kingdom Hearts, the best game of the world, which belongs to Square Enix and Disney.

**Chapter 2 – Let it happen**

The following morning after Sora's drinking party I woke up when my brother appeared in the room, where I was sleeping peacefully, with quiet complaining.

I opened my eyes to see what the hell he was up to when he collapsed on the bed and curled up next to my legs and mumbled something about drawing the curtains.

"Just what the hell are you doing?" I sighed loudly when he started to wrench my blanket to himself.  
"Be nice and don't yell", he cried out and pressed the pillow, which he had picked from the floor, on his head to prevent the voices.

I hated when he had a hangover because then he whined like a little kid who doesn't want to go to kindergarten.  
"Go to your own room, idiot", I said without any sympathy and tried to kick him down from the bed.

"But Dai came to whine there and it hurts my head", he said quietly and tried to defend himself from my kicking.  
"Hey, you promised to take care of it, so get your lazy ass out of my room and get the dog out, I want to be alone", I said with an annoyed tone and rose to sitting position.

"But...", Sora started.  
"You should have thought about the sequels of drinking yesterday, now scram!" I hissed and gave him the final strike when he fell down from the bed.

He groaned and got up from the floor, then he left with more complaining and slammed the door shut.

When I got rid of him I tried to continue my sleeping, but then I noticed from the wall clock that it was almost midday so I decided to get up and have some coffee.

When I went to hallway Sora was already there with Dai looking like he would have just got up from the bed. "I'm taking him for a walk", he mumbled and stepped out of the door. The dog followed happily, wagging it's tail and biting the leash. Then it barked before the door closed and I heard Sora muttering for the dog to shut up.

I went to the kitchen and found a large number of empty cans and bottles from there. I rolled my eyes and kicked an empty jar out of my way.

_I'm definitely not the one who's gonna clean up this mess, _I thought and poured water to the coffee maker.

I switched the coffee maker on and sat down at the dining table. I sighed composedly, even though here is a horrible mess and weird smell – probably someone has thrown up last night and the puke was hiding in somewhere, this was maybe one of the best mornings in many weeks, because now I was far away from dad and now I had a peaceful moment when the dog was out for a while.

I got a perfect "beautiful morning"-feeling when everything was fine, the sun was shining and it's rays came to the kitchen between the window blinds, birds were singing outside and...

_Ding-dong!_

...and someone rang the doorbell.

I made a face and got up from my seat reluctantly. I knew it couldn't be Sora because he left less than ten minutes ago, so I wondered who it might be. I loafed to the door and opened the door slightly so I barely saw on the other side of it.

I groaned when I peeked outside. "What are _you _doing here?", I growled when I saw Axel behind the door with his Cheshire Cat- grin.  
"Morning, sunshine", he greeted ignoring my unfriendly cadence. "My friend can't find his cell phone and he said he might have left it here", he said.

"How noble from you to come for your friend", I said sarcastically, "Why he didn't bother to come to find his own phone?"

"He has the hangover of a century", he sighed. "Have you seen the phone?"  
"No", I answered. I would have been very pleased if he'd had turned around and got away from my sight, but he just stood there and apparently waited that I'd let him inside so he could look for that stupid cell phone.

I sighed and said: "Okay, come to look if you can find it."  
He stepped inside after me to the hall, I went to get my coffee and Axel just wandered around the house.

A moment later Sora – who looked like a ghost because of his under-eye bags and pale face, came back with Dai.  
"Looking good", I mumbled and took a sip from the coffee mug.  
"Shut up", he chuckled tiredly and sat next to me at the table and opened today's newspaper which he had brought from the mail box.  
"Yeah, I found it", Axel said and waved the phone on his hands when he walked the stairs down.

"Oh, hi Axel", Sora greeted when he noticed the redhead.  
"Bye, Axel", I mumbled quietly, hoping that he'll leave. Sora kicked my leg under the table and glared me like I should shut up.

"I didn't know you know each other", he said wondering.  
"We don't", I growled.  
"Actually we met yesterday, Roxy is a social butterfly", he said chuckling and I had to roll my eyes. "He has always been", Sora laughed and I thought that they both deserved a smack to face, it was one of the most annoying things in the world when someone talks snidely about me when I'm sitting right next to them.

"Well, I have to go again, see ya around", Axel said and, for my relief, left as quickly as he had came here.  
As the door slammed shut, Sora turned to me and asked:  
"Do you have something against him or is it that your 'I hate people'-attitude again?"

"Maybe that latter option", I answered lamely and drunk the rest of my coffee quickly.

-------------------

The last week of our vacation went pretty fast. Sora got the house cleaned and we came back home from Cloud's house on Thursday – by the way, he didn't mention that anything would have been broken or missing or anything else after Sora's party, and I spent the rest of the week at home and did nothing worth mentioning. Cloud's secret visits somewhere really bugged me, but he didn't tell us even how much Sora tried to make him spit the truth out.  
Unfortunately dad came back from his business trip, but he was so tired after it that he didn't even say a word to me on Sunday when he arrived, which was kind of a surprise.

Actually I had many evenings without any fights with him. Sometimes there was those weeks when he concentrated to his work so much that he didn't even notice us, so I got a chance to be in peace.

So my second high school year started, school days are the same shit as they've always been. Every day after school Sora spent time with his friends while I was moping home alone doing homework or nothing and trying not to get on dad's way so I would spare myself from the worst fights. What I also tried to do was to find a job – this far without success, so I could move out of here as soon as I could.

One day after school Sora came home about an hour later than me with Riku and Kairi when I was in the kitchen trying to find something to eat. I really couldn't make anything eatable so I had to wait 'til Sora makes something to eat or take something which I just have to warm in the microwave oven.

"I'm home", Sora shouted out from the door and came to the kitchen, Riku and Kairi right after him. "Is dad at work?", he asked and I nodded and cut a slice of bread for myself. I was so concentrated at exploring the inside of the refrigerator so I didn't hear what Sora said, but he had gone somewhere with Kairi when I rose my head from the fridge a moment later.

Riku sat at the table and brushed his bangs away from his eyes. I sat on the other side of the table after I had made the bread ready.  
Riku was Sora's probably best friend and maybe one of the most tolerable person I knew, because he was kind of quiet and he doesn't have that habit to throw out some stupid jokes, so I got along with him kinda well. He was pretty tall and he had silver hair which reached to his shoulders. He's at the same school with me and Sora, but he was one year older so he was on upper grade.

"Do you want coffee?" I asked and bit a piece of my bread and some crumbs fell on the glass surface of the dining table.  
"No thanks", he said and shook his head. I couldn't see his ocean-blue eyes properly because his bangs had grown on the way.

"Are you still trying to find a job?" he asked suddenly after a short silence.

"Yeah, kind of", I mumbled mouth full of bread. "How so?"  
"Well, there's that new coffeehouse in the downtown and they're looking for employees. If you can't figure out anything else, you should visit there and try to get a part-time job from there. I'm working there sometimes too", he told.

My eyes brightened a little when I listened to him. That sounds better than nothing, I guess. I didn't have any education yet so that would be one of the best options I would have maybe in a long time.

"Thanks Riku", I said and made a small smile. "I think it would be worth of a try."

--------------

I decided to go to the coffeehouse what Riku mentioned, so in the next day when he went to work I came along with him there. Riku said that he will talk for me to his boss, and he thinks I have a good chance to get employed. It was a good thing.

"Hello, Mr. Miura", Riku greeted when we arrived to the staff's room. I was embarrassed that, after all I really wasn't allowed to go there.

The man, who was apparently Riku's boss, looked at us and there spread a friendly smile on his face. He was sitting at a table and looking at some papers.

"Hi Riku, it's good you came. Who is this friend of yours?" he asked and put his glasses on the table. He looked like he would be from Japan or somewhere else from Asia, because his facial features were Oriental, and his name sounded like Japanese too.

Before I even had my mouth open, Riku said: "This is Roxas, I wanted to introduce him to you because you told me you need more employees here and he would be very good option."

"It's very nice to meet you, sir", I said and tried not to give him a bad impression of myself by just standing at the door quietly.

Mr. Miura looked at me like he was trying to see if I would be any helpful. I started to feel nervous because it was irritating me when someone was staring at me.

"Hmm.. have you been working at cafe earlier?" he asked from me.

"N-no, sir, but I'm very eager to learn", I answered.

He was clearly still pondering me silently. He stared at me for a moment, then he peered at Riku and then back at me.  
"Well... I think I give you a chance, especially if Riku knows you, he's one of the best workers I've had in a long time, so I trust his word", he said finally.

"Thank you, sir! I promise I won't disappoint you", I said gratefully.

"Good. You can start already tomorrow if it's okay for you", Mr. Miura said, he looked happy when he god a new employer.  
"Okay. See you tomorrow", I said. Just when I was going to turn around so I could go back home, someone opened the door and almost ran towards me.

"Hi boss, sorry I'm late".

Oh please, tell me I'm just imaging this.

I looked up and met Axel's gaze. Why was it so when you hope you won't meet someone, then that person will appear to your life more often even though you usually wouldn't see him barely once in a year or something.

"Oh hi Roxy, what are you doing here?" he asked with a surprised look.  
"Um, I...I'm going to work here since tomorrow", I answered. It can't be so that he is working here too.

"Really? Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow", he grinned.

Or maybe it was so.

"Yeah", I muttered and walked by him. When I got outside the coffeehouse I sighed deeply. Well, I guess I have to try to get along with him better.

-----------

"Really? I didn't know" Sora said when I told him about Axel. "Well now you have a chance to know him better", he added and wrote something on his notebook which he had on the bed. He was lying on his stomach and tried to do some homework. I didn't know the reason why he doesn't do them in his own room, he was always in my room disturbing me.

"Why do I have to know him better?" I asked dully and threw a math book on the floor with the other school books there were.

"Because you are so anti-social that you really have to do something about it. And besides, Axel is very nice person when you start to know him", he said.

I mumbled something back to him and concentrated again to my own homework. Sora stopped writing and his face looked like he didn't understand something.

What I didn't understand was why it was a problem to Sora if I'm not so social as he is. If I don't want to be friend with someone smartass psycho, what does it mean to my brother? Nothing, or at least it shouldn't mean.

"That's why you are always so pissed like some old geezers – you don't have anyone to talk with so it makes you like that", Sora said and poked me with a pencil.

"Shut up", I muttered angrily and slammed a book on his head quietly but he just laughed. Then he sighed and brushed all his school-stuff down from the bed. "Luckily we have birthday next month, we can have another party then", he said cheerfully.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh no, here we go again."

"Hey, it didn't cost any damage to anything or anyone last time, and this time you are coming with others instead of you just pouting somewhere. And I bet Naminé is coming for a visit then", he said grinning.

"I guess so", I said. Although I can imagine it when she's talking with high-speed in the phone _"I'm so sorry Roxas but once again I'm so busy with school and those my art and model things and blah blah blah.." _. Yeah, that's what she's probably going to say.

"But where did you think we'll go then? There's no chance you could have your parties here, especially when dad's at home. And he will literally kill me if something gets broken or...", I started but he interrupted me by rising his other hand for a mark for me to shut up.

"I'm sure Cloud'll leave his house, he can go one of those his secret trips he's been having lately", he chuckled.

I sighed. "Whatever."

--------------

So, in the next day I started my work in the coffeehouse, but it turned out that Riku has a day off, so I had to work with...

"Hi Roxy, good to see you again!"

...Axel.

He was smiling that his trademark-grin as usually, when I came to staff's room. Actually it wasn't really a room which was meant to be staff's room where we could leave our stuffs and outwears and so, because there was also space for kitchen and one whole wall was covered with shelves where was lots of different ingredients for making food, containers and all kinds of things you'd need in the cafe.

In the corner was also a small sofa and a table, and Mr. Miura was sitting on that black leather couch investigating some papers, just like yesterday.

"Good day, Roxas, good you came", Mr. Miura said when he noticed me. I was pretty surprised that he remembered my name, usually people needs some time to memorize it, maybe because I wasn't so conspicuous person.

"I didn't know you and Axel know each other", he added and took a quick glance alternately at me and Axel.

"Well, maybe somehow", I muttered and threw my jacket on rack. I wouldn't say I know him well, actually all I knew about him was that he is a bit more irritating person than average.

The first day at my new job went kinda well: at first I got a quick introduction on my tasks, which were pretty much cleaning places up, taking dishes to the backroom and other dull chores, but can't complain – at least I'm getting money, plus I have a chance to avoid being home, since I came here right from school.

When the time was nearly 9 pm, that's the closing time, Mr. Miura was picking all his papers and memos from the table in his briefcase.

"I should still visit at the bank, could you two close the place for me? Axel, you know how to act, right?" Mr. Miura asked.

"Yes, sir", Axel responded and grinned widely while I was emptying the dishwasher and listening to Mr. Miura's talk.

"Good, see you tomorrow", he said and left in a rush. I assumed that Axel must have been working here for a while if Mr. Miura trusted him so well.

I peeked what Axel was doing, but he had gone somewhere. Then I grasped I was left alone with him... Okay, come on, Roxas, you have to even try to get along with him, at least now when you're working together, and Sora said he's a nice guy when you get to know him, a voice inside my head nagged to me.

"Okay, we're done now", Axel said when he came back to the backroom and interrupted my internal fighting with myself.

"Okay, see you tomorrow", I said lamely and turned around to leave when he pushed his hand in front of the door and kept me from going anywhere.

"What?" I sighed and made myself to rise my head and look straight to his jade green eyes.

"I just want to hear why do you hate me so we can fix it and act normally", he said with a calm voice. He didn't seem actually mad, because he had a weird smile on his face.

"Huh? Why do you think I hate you?" I asked even though I maybe knew why.

"You're giving me that picture, or are you just cold for no particular reason?" he asked and leaned against the architrave. I tried to think what should I answer to him, I didn't want to open up to him like he was my _friend_ or something. I started to squirm nervously, I just wanted to go, I couldn't stand that he was staring at me and waiting for I'd start to cry my issues to him or something.

"Um... I... Really, I don't hate you, okay? Now if you excuse me, I'd really like to go home", I sighed finally, trying to sound as calm as possible even I felt so anxious. I reached my hand to slap his arm out of my way.

"Fine then", he said, taking his hand off of the doorpost where he was leaning. "Have you hurt your hand?"

His gaze had moved from my eyes to my hand, or rather at my wrist which was showing because the sleeve of my black hoodie had moved upper uncovering a long cut on it.

_Shit._ I glanced my hand in panic and pulled it quickly down. "K-kind of", I said and made a fake smile to him. "Are we okay now?", I asked a bit irritably, wanting to push him out of the way and run home, although that would be weird. I didn't know why I felt as I was harassed or something.

"Yeah, I guess so, but...", Axel started, looking at me with a curious expression on his face, but I interrupted him quickly before he asks something about that cut.

"Okay, good, I chirped too loudly, which I noticed afterwards, and almost ran past him, leaving him just to stare with a muddled look at the spot where I had stood a second earlier.

When I got outside I rolled my eyes to myself. Splendid, Roxas, didn't you give a good picture of yourself again.

-----------------------

After that day every day was again just that same, like I was wandering in the fog, nothing really special happened. School, work and then to home, which was actually the most exhausting moment of day. As if I wasn't tired already, I had to do my homework and at the same time listen to Kairi's, who was Sora's girlfriend, insignificant whining – that girl really has so much to complain, I can't understand how Sora stands her – about every single thing she could think up: when someone had said something insulting to her, when her nail has snapped, when there's too hot in Sora's room or something else that stupid. And she really can harp on every subject like forever, plus she _has_ to speak with so loud voice so even my room tolls even it's on the other side of the floor.

Then in the evening Kairi and Riku – who comes often to keep company for me when he gets tired of Kairi – leaves and dad comes from work and then _he_ fabricates something to yell about and pretty often I get a poke in the jaw.

Yeah, I love my life. But my school and work goes pretty well, so there's something positive to say.

Anyway, soon came the day which Sora looked so forward – the Friday when we both have our 18th birthday.

We walked home from school together, I had probably one of my lame looks on my face but Sora looked so happy and lively, as he always looked when there was something fun to do. Well, I wasn't so sure about fun, but..

"FINALLY", he sighed loudly and rose his hands up behind his head to stretch his arms, "I was getting so bored in this same, dull weekday already.

I just sneered and listened to my brother's energetic gabbling about today. He had got a permission to "borrow" Cloud's house for today while he went again to somewhere without telling where.

So, the couple of hours later we were at Cloud's house and there started to be plenty of people in there with us, again very much ones who I didn't know but Sora seemed to know them all even somehow. People who had arrived had gathered drinks to themselves and started drinking already.

I rolled my eyes when I imagined how woozy people will be in the next few hours and started to think about what should I do while everyone else are getting drunk.

"Hey Roxas", Sora hollered from the kitchen so I went to see what's up now. When I came to there he plunged a bottle in my hands.

"What...", I yelped and glared at Sora who smiled widely at me.

"You should drink that so you can relax for a while and stop that moping", he said poured different liquids from the bottles to a huge bowl.

"I'm not moping", I snorted angrily. First I thought that I'm certainly not going to drink that because I can't stand for drunken people, but then thought what Sora had just said; maybe I was too tardy and I should take more easy for once.

"Thanks...", I mumbled and carried the bottle with me to the living room where I sat on the couch next to Riku who was leaning on the armrest with his elbow and listening to Kairi who was talking about something very enthusiastically, but I didn't know what because I was barely listening to her story.

"...Oh, hey Roxas, did Namine tell you that she will come here tomorrow? I told her she can come here to see you in the morning, okay?" she said suddenly.

"Oh", I said and checked my cell phone – two new messages, both from Namine, "Yeah, she had messaged me, I just hadn't noticed earlier", I added and answered to her messages quickly.

Some more people came to the house and couple of people joined our company and chatted with us – or rather with Kairi, Riku and I are not a very big talkers, so I opened the bottle Sora had given to me a moment ago. There was maybe a liter of alcohol, I wasn't very sure what it exactly was, but I started to drink it anyway and rejected all my thoughts about how much I hate that people drinks to get drunk and how they act then, but I really, _really_ wanted to think even once not-so clearly and gloomy as I usually did. I just hope that I won't do or say anything stupid what I would regret later...

After about quarter hour of chatting with those random guys I saw from the corner of my eye that Axel and that his friend who was at the previous party too came to the house. Axel had that his same smiley on his face when he said something to Sora who was hanging out in the hall with someone and stalking people who were coming in.

I looked away of them, because I still was a little embarrassed about that I had just freaked out one day at the coffeehouse, even though I had seen Axel nearly every day, but still I felt kinda awkward around him. I shook my head and took a long swig of the bottle and tried not to care that it didn't taste so good.

I just listened to others talking and tried my best to throw some short comments in the conversation so I wouldn't seem too unsocial. We sat there for kinda long time, some new acquaintances came to the living room, nearly everybody had something alcohol content drinks, and slowly it started to be very noticeable in some people, for example in Kairi who giggled idiotically for stupid jokes people were telling.

I wondered how much I would have to drink before alcohol starts to affect. I had never been soused before, so I should become intoxicated much faster than normally. I looked at the side of the bottle, and it's label told that there was percents enough so I could say it wasn't anything mild stuff.

I cursed Sora in my mind, he did this on purpose and wants I'd get really drunk. I looked at the bottle again, and noticed that I had drunk already plenty of from it.

Then it happened. I felt like someone had turned lights off inside my head. Very quickly I started to feel much better than few minutes ago and I felt like I hadn't anything to worry about. Even the liquid I had in my bottle tasted much better and it went easily downwards in my throat. When I drank more the more I started to take a part in conversation. I spent maybe two hours with others in the living room and I noticed that I had drunk all the booze from the bottle.

"Oh shit, I drank all already", I laughed. Sora got up from the other couch and told me to come with him, so I got up too and noticed that everything was spinning a little so I think I staggered a little. On my way to the kitchen I rushed on Axel, who seemed to be under the influence too.

"Hi Axel", I greeted him cheerfully. I told myself deep inside my mind that I was acting like an idiot but I didn't really listen to myself in that frame of mind.

"Hi baby!", he shouted when he noticed me and I just laughed for his stupid way to greet me. "So, what's up Roxy?", he slurred and walked after me to the kitchen.

"Hm... Nothing", I hemmed and tried to reach a glass for myself from the cupboards but they were a bit too high or then I was wobbling too much. Axel leaned on a counter with his other hand and watched my desperate tries to reach to the highest board with a wicked grin on his face. Then he decided to help me and gave a glass for me and for my brother, who was sitting at the dining table and looking like he's going to throw up in any minute. There was no one else in the kitchen except we three until Riku appeared in the room and Sora glanced at him right when he noticed him.

"Riku I think I'm going to throw up", Sora said with a thickly tone and got up from his seat. I didn't get what he was trying but he fell on Riku's arms before he had managed to get even to steps. Then he burst out laughing and Riku looked like he's blushing and tried to help him to the bathroom so he won't puke on the floor. When they left Axel started to laugh.

"That guy's SO smitten in your brother", he said and poured that punch Sora had made earlier to the glasses. "Might be, everyone loves my brother", I said. I maybe sound remotely bitter, because Axel just hugged me very familiarly.

"Aw, Roxy, don't be so emo. Besides, I like more you than your brother", he said. I rose my head from his chest to look at him. His emerald green eyes glimmered in the half-lighted room so clearly. I hugged him back because I felt like I couldn't stand up very long because everything seemed to spin like in the merry-go-round.

"Thanks, you're so nice", I murmured. Then I didn't know what came to me, but when I looked at him and he was smiling at me , he was so close so it made me feel like he'd care about me really. I rose on my toes and wrapped my arms around his neck so I could pull him closer without caring about the voice in my head which was telling not to do anything I'd regret later.

So I pressed my lips against his and kissed him.


End file.
